


Happy Birthday

by Muaythai



Category: THE9 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Ficlet, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27247105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muaythai/pseuds/Muaythai
Summary: The date changed before I knew it, and she's already one year older today.
Relationships: Liu Yuxin/Lu Keran
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Happy Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> A gift for Lu Keran Birthday  
> Inspired by:  
> •Back Number ⟨Happy Birthday⟩  
> •Official髭男dism ⟨Pretender⟩
> 
> Please ignore typos and grammar
> 
> Ugly but wanted to share it

**Drrrttt Drrrttt Drrrttt**

Yuxin was focused on her work tasks with the laptop when suddenly the alarm sounds from her phone diverted her gaze from the laptop screen to her phone. 

**[🔔 00.00 November 7, 2020 Lu Keran's Birthday🧡]**

The alarm reminded Yuxin that today’s her day. She’s one year older today, her ex. And today’s another day without her near Yuxin. 

Their love story was such a silly story. 

“I think I can’t even say it ours. When it started, it was just a solo story. Even though I was always beside you at those days, I was just the reader, the extra. Funny right?” Yuxin asked to the empty air. 

If Yuxin had the chance to approach Keran, she would just ask one thing to her. 

“Why did you accept my confession that day?” Yuxin said in a low tone while stare at the ceiling, recalling the old memories that she had tried to bury deep down in her brain and especially her heart. 

_‘What are you for me? Are you really my girlfriend?’  
‘What am I for you? Am I really your girlfriend?’_

Yuxin always thought that every time she ate, slept, worked, and especially when she was together with Keran. It’s so painful, but once she got used to it, it didn't hurt like before. 

And everytime she thought that, her answer to herself was always, 

_‘I don’t want to know it’  
‘I don’t want to understand it’  
‘I’m okay with all of this’_

And will always ended up with, 

_‘Am I really okay with all of this?’ ___

Yuxin always tried to make Keran laugh with her funny and silly story, even though she’s not the funniest person Keran knows, but she really tried her best. But now, she couldn't think of a funny and silly story for a reason that she wanted to hug Keran right now. 

“I really hope I can approach you in a different way, in a different relationship, with a different feeling. Maybe, it’ll be better for me? Maybe, you’ll love me? Or maybe, I won’t fall in love with you? “ 

Well, she doubted that, no matter how hard she tried not to fall in love with her, the result she got was always that she would fall for Keran deeper than she already knew, so deep that she thought that she was already in a black hole. 

And no matter who she is. She knew Keran charm, Keran personality, and Keranself would make her fall for Keran. 

“Ahhh… I hope I can choose who I love.” 

“The air without you feels so thin. It’s hurtful” 

She suddenly felt her cheeks wet and she could taste the saltiness of her own tears. 

“Ahhh… I really hope you’ll be here” 

“I really hope you’ll love me” 

“I really hope you’ll turn your back to see me who always wait for you” 

“But, I’m not your destiny. I’m not your soulmate, and you never love me in the first place” It’s hard to say it, but she couldn’t deny it. Because it’s the truth that she had known from the start. 

_“Can you call me Xinxin? I’ll call you with Keke!”  
“Next time, Yuxin”_

When is the next time? Yuxin always asked Keran to call her with a simpler name, like ‘xinxin’ and she would call her ‘keke’. 

“Wouldn’t it be cute? But sadly it never slipped from your beautiful and soft lips” 

A sudden incoming call made Yuxin jump from her bed. She rushed to see who it was. But ended up with a big sigh. 

_**It’s not her** _

Yuxin lowkey hoped that Keran would be mad at her because she hadn't said happy birthday to her like she did last year. 

But after that thought, she laughed, a bitter laugh. 

“You’re so funny, Liu Yuxin. Who are you to her? No other than a stranger that just passed by. Wake up, it’s not a romance novel nor a romance film. It’s reality.” 

She covered her eyes with her arm, laid herself on the bed. She peeked a bit from the small gap between her arm and her face. Thrown her gaze to the night view that was full of beautiful lights and stars. The moon shined so bright tonight, She thought it wanted to celebrate Keran's birthday together with her. 

“Did you see this view too, Keke? And with her?” 

Yuxin laid on her bed while scrolling her gallery. The gallery that full of their photos, it wasn’t like Yuxin wanted to keep it, but her heart still couldn’t push that small delete button. 

She’s afraid. Afraid if she deleted the photos, the memories that she would remember it just the bad one. So, keeping the photos made Yuxin believe that she and Keran had a happy memory, or it was just them pretending that they were happy. 

_**Ahhh… now I am remembering our break up memory. We break up in a good way, I think? Or in a weird way? I don't know.** _

_“Keran, Let’s break up”_

_“Yeah, okay. I’m fine with it”_

_“Okay, thank you. And goodbye?”_

_“Goodbye too”_

“HAHAHAHAHA. Now I remembered it! Your face when you break up with me. Your face seems lighter. And maybe a bit happier? HAHAHAHA I don’t know” 

She kept laughing until she choked on her own tears. There was a great silence before she cried again. 

“Was I a burden to you?” She said with a loud cry. 

“Did you never feel happy around me?” 

She smiled bitterly and burst down. Her tears wouldn’t stop, and she didn’t know when they would stop. 

_**It hurts.** _

_**It’s painful.** _

_**My heart won’t stop aching.** _

_**My tears won’t stop falling.** _

_**And my love won't stop growing.** _

She was the one who asked them to break up. And she thought she would ask it first no matter when it was. Because Keran was too kind to ask her. Keran didn’t want to hurt her, but the fact was, she already hurt her deeply. 

She needed to ask it, because the way Keran looked at another woman, the way she heard that woman speak, and the way she held her hands. It’s the same Yuxin did to Keran. 

And that’s when Yuxin knew Keran already loves someone and her role in Keran life looks clearer than before. 

She needed to know her place. 

She didn't know until when she cried, but she knew, before she slept, she said. 

“Happy 25th Birthday, Lu Keran” 

“Happy Birthday to my unrequited love” 

.  
.  
. 

**FIN**

**Author's Note:**

> How's it? Don't be shy to tell me what you think in the comment section, I open to critics too! 
> 
> and, if you want to read my other au(s), just go to my pinned tweet at @/steponmeyuxin!


End file.
